Day 17, Failure?

 Okay, so I'm still out of town, and still only partially cleansing. I wake up each morning clear that I only want cleansing foods--even in the face of bagels and scrapple and coffee--but by late afternoon, I'm also clear that I want the ease and pleasure of holiday delights with extended family.

It may be time to admit cleansing failure, at least in the absolute sense. I like absolutes. There's a greater sense of satisfaction with them, a stronger sense of attainment. I'm not sure how to "assess" partial adherance to a diet or any other endeavor. I tend to fault myself for anything less than stellar performance.

 On Thanksgiving, my sister had the whole extended family take a personality test. I stood out as the Reformer--the principled, idealistic type--often afraid to make a mistake--and tending toward perfectionism. 

"Fastidious" was another charming descriptor of my personality. The thesaurus sheds some harsh light on that one:  

scrupulous, punctilious, painstaking, meticulous; perfectionist, fussy, finicky, overparticular; critical, overcritical, hypercritical, hard to please, exacting, demanding; informal persnickety, nitpicking, choosy, picky, anal.

 Maybe there is something good in being less than perfect with this cleanse or anything else. Either that, or it's just one juicy holiday rationalization.